Rain

First, it came the part when you think everything is soggy and miserable, 

until the worst came, and suddenly the first part doesn't seem that bad after all.

Now that the first part of worst is over, submission was due, and I finally get to unburden myself off my school projects. And even though I should feel happy and light hearted, I ended up feeling miserable instead, over again. Only this time I will have to stay here for another 9 months instead of 5. They would prefer me to work here till my graduation, or ever. 

---

I came to realise (even though it's not the first time that I realise), that whenever monetary issues were involved, we grew distance apart. I hate being reminded of that, or even reminded of what I've done wrong, even years ago. As if I don't know about the problems myself. People make mistakes and even if it's the same mistake over again. Sorry for not being perfect.

I know I may sound whinny, but is there even a time when I can study or do anything in peace? without having to be reminded about issues that comes next, for you especially?

---

I know that I am not someone that you're proud of, and I don't blame you. That's why I dislike coming home empty handed, when i'm not ready. I want to be able to make you proud about what I'm proud of doing. I don't even want to come home probably because of certain mentality that i'm used to. Yes, it may be offensive, but ask anyone and they'll understand.

---

I am counting down till the day when I can meet you again, to be in your arms again.

Cheers

♥

Copyright © halie2406 All Rights Reserved

Winter Depression

Cold weather, shorter days, longer nights, and a boring town gave me the opportunity to lock myself in the house for 14 days straight since Christmas up till the day I started my 2nd semester. And even though I tried killing time by doing schools assignments (ridiculous during the holidays) and drawing and cooking and cleaning and what not, I could't stop feeling homesick. Missing the times where I could go anywhere I want during day or night, not worrying about what time the shops or mall closes or what time the sun goes down. Food is especially available 24/7. But I guess I understand what it's like to close early. It's probably because of the cold.

Cheers

♥

Copyright © halie2406 All Rights Reserved

Pressed Flowers

Trying my best to preserve the the flowers of
my lovely birthday bouquet, Summer Fruits.
♥

Cheers

♥

Copyright © halie2406 All Rights Reserved

My First Polaroid Camera

Such an excitement to have purchased a second hand camera from Amazon!

I admit that I somehow felt skeptical about purchasing this camera and there's a notion of uncertainty when you are purchasing online, and when it's a second hand item too. I have to go through countless reviews before setting on one particular seller in Amazon. And the result? I am satisfied with the product despite having few scratches on it. Plus, it functions well too! 

It was a great deal for this pre-loved item. The film are expensive though. But i'm aiming for a film pack per month, which means I will have to be extremely careful on what i'm taking, the composition, lighting etc. Each film (not film pack) will cost around 2.13£, equivalent to an estimation of RM10.63 per film. Sucks right? But it also teaches you to be super appreciative of it. Unlike our digital cams now, where we can just make mistakes and over and over again.

But since this is the first time I tried on an instant camera, it takes a while before I can get used to the functions. The first few photos I took was a disaster! The lighting were bad, thinking that the aperture were somehow the same as a digital cam. Bad mistake! I took the first one without flash and it was a huge mistake. It came out looking really dark and I could hardly see my face. (Yes, the first one was a selfie) The second and third one was taken using flash, but it turns out real blur. I didn't understand why, but I supposed it's because of my shaky hands. 

I read the manual over and over again, but couldn't find any reason why. Until one day I started experimenting again. I was tweaking with the lighten and darken dial, though I only used the lighten function. Things looked washed out when it's set to lighten and again, it's still blur! I re-read the manual again, only to find out that when I'm using close-up function, it have to be at least a distance of 2ft (equivalent to 61cm). Ugh! Not so close up after all. I've wasted 2 films experimenting on the lighten function and a normal function, and another one where I finally got it right! well, at least. It was so heartbreaking to have wasted 2 films just like that, but I figured out that I have to start somewhere right?

I used up the last 2 films taking outdoor pictures and it turns out beautifully. And i'm just glad that I did all those experiments despite how heartbreaking it is. (Damn! it was 2.13£ per film!) Nevertheless, I am still learning. :)

Cheers

♥

Copyright © halie2406 All Rights Reserved

Solitary Birthday Celebration

Sound like a sad post huh? It is actually, to think about it before it hits 12am.

But i figure out that it's not that bad.

I have to go on the internet to look for inspiration on celebration my birthday alone, but it just seems none fully cater to myself(duh!) but I do manage to pull something out myself!

Here are a list of things that I did before, and on my birthday, alone.

1.

Indulge In Self Pity

Crying and wallowing in self pity for having to celebrate your miserable birthday alone and away from your home country with no best friends and boyfriend to celebrate with.

2.

Wake Up!

Snapped out of it and plan out a hermit birthday celebration. 

3.

Facebook Notification

Tweaked my Facebook's privacy settings on the day before my birthday so no one could actually see my birthday appearing at the side of their birthday notification column. This way, it wouldn't be Facebook reminding them about my birthday anymore. Besides, it would also be a year where you wouldn't see too much birthday wishes from random people flooding your wall, it would just be from people whom you truly know. :)

(Which will make me feel way better, and by the way, I tried really hard to not let anyone know it through Facebook, till the point that i even set all posts into private)

4.

I have 8 hours extra for my birthday!

Being away in a country that is 8 hours behind my home country has its perks. I get to have that extra 8 hours do more more stuffs and the length of my day is not even affected by my sleeping time! Besides, I get to have my boyfriend to sing me "Happy Birthday" twice!

5.

Experience a virtual birthday celebration!

It never occur to me that such thing exist but it did! right after Joe pulled out the birthday cupcakes along with the candles when it stroke 12 midnight in Malaysia. Such wonderful experience to even blow the candles from your screen through Skype!

6.

Shopping spree!

Being a birthday girl obviously means having all means to go for a guilt-free shopping spree! This would also means going out dressing all nice and posh for shopping! Though i admit that I didn't really spend much, but I've bought a few items from Body Shop to pamper myself during my birthday. Besides, if I did not agree to sign up for their membership, I wouldn't have an extra free shower gel from them, and a 5£ voucher to spend during my birthday month!

7.

More me time!

Thought I normally do stay indoor most of the time alone, this day should definitely worth more spending on pampering myself, applying make up, dressing up in a nice dress because i can, soaking in hot bath, doing body scrubs, manicures, Disney movie marathon etc. Just a way to enjoy yourself without a care in the world, even though my class session never fails to scare me.

8.

Cook a fancy meal

Baked chicken, Fusilli, mashed potato and sautéed vegetables, even better to eat under the candle light. But too bad candles are prohibited in my hostel, so I guess it doesn't hurt to eat with the study lamp on. Got myself a muffin and from Starbucks too! AND, it is also the time where you can indulge yourself in as much guilty food as you can,
such as.. BACON!

9.

Contemplate in friendly wishes

Review all your birthday wishes from friends and family posting up in Facebook or even text messages. I'm glad that there are still some nice folks out there even though we're not really close friends. News are better spread through mouth than Facebook reminder.

10.

Surprise!

Best part about celebrating it all by yourself is the surprise that you'll never expect! I got a bouquet of flowers called Autumn Fruits requested and delivered by Joe! Best and happiest highlight of my birthday!

And now, i'm gonna be so happy throughout the whole week just by the sight of the flowers on my window sill!

So, it's not that bad after all right? (;

Cheers

♥

Copyright © halie2406 All Rights Reserved

New Blog

I just lost my previous blog due to some unfriendly user interface that apparently erases all my photos from my old blog from my new phone. WTF?!

I’m still keeping my old blog, though I’ll be blogging through my new blog now, which is still under the same url! (YaY!) At first I were to shift to Wordpress by GAH! it took me so long just to figure this WordPress interface, plus it is not customisable-friendly unless you were to fork out some cash. Besides, you will not be able to edit any html there.  But anyways, this blog will still be under construction for probably a couple of months before I’m satisfied with it. 

Till then,

Cheers~ ♥